So, This I Believe...This is Getting to be Repetative

So this essay is not finished yet!! Please help with suggestions, I feel like this is going no where.
Essay:
What do I believe? That should be an easy question since it's a thought that is coming from inside of me, my own opinion, my own head. For some reason I can't really come up with much. What I can come up with, however, is what I can't believe. I have come to a state where I can't really trust people too often. When people cancel plans with me at the last minute, I always feel that they have found something better to do with their time. If people tell me that they will pay me back, I know I'll never see that money again. Sometimes I even have trouble believing that my friends really are my friends.
Back in middle school I had a little situation that occured between me and three other friends; two were girls and the other was a boy. Now I'm going to go with the style of Gossip Girl and use their initials: the two girls are W and J, the boy is M. So me and W were best friends; we had been for two years. This year I had finally gotten into our school play and had started becoming closer friends with J and M. Eventually I developed a crush on M and told W about it because I tell her everything. I thought I could trust her to keep it a secret but I shouldn't have because she ended up telling M all about it. He approached me one night after play practice and told me that he just wanted to be friends and that he really liked W.

Ok, so this essay is lame, I need to come up with a new idea. I was thinking of how I tend to get upset and say I hate my life when I know that there are many people in the world that have a way worse life than I do.